We are happy to be interviewing Claude Lobster detailing his latest band and the great new sound that he has discovered. Formerly the bass guitarist with Anglo-Finnish Death-Folk combo Satan’s Knitting, Claude is now building up his solo career. The backline cosist of practically all the members of Satan’s Knitting.
You have slept with a very specific number of women. What is it like? Can you describe a naked woman to us?
“A naked woman is like a God’s gift. There’s no better way of describing it. If she’s young enough, her skin is usually smooth and peachy, and… and so forth. Where does this interview get published? I’m asking because I wouldn’t like to waste our time giving specifics you couldn’t publish in Housecare Weekly, see.”
The lead singer of your band recently quit, formed a Christian Rock Band, moved to Canada, began a tribute group, and underwent a frontal lobotomy before returning to the band as trombone player. Would you like to make any statement on this?
“Would you like to tell me where this interview will be published, trombone player? I didn’t even answer the first question properly!”
Your previous group, the seminal Anglo-Finnish band Satan’s Knitting was the sole representative of the genre Death-Folk. Do you feel the musical style was undervalued or over-rated?
“I’m still on the naked woman bit – I’m interested in answering that question properly. Are you going to tell me where this interview will be published?”
In a recent interview you stated that your new band had discovered a “new sound”. Could you elaborate what that actually means, or is it just marketing bullshit?
“It’s marketing bullshit, but I really would like to answer that one about the naked woman. Where will this interview be published, if anywhere?”
You’ve announced a “World Tour” but it appears that all the venues are within a 25 mile radius of your home, with the exception of one gig in Hebden Bridge, West Yorkshire. How would you justify the use of the word “world”?
“Some of us fly from here to Singapore and back, so we sort of tour the world. Naked woman? Where will this be published?”
Claude, we’d like to thank you for taking the time out from your business schedule to speak with us. Is there any last message you’d like to give to your dozens of fans?
“Yes. This fucker never told me where this interview will be published, so I’ll just say this: a naked woman has a juicy cunt between her legs.”