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An intelligent dog will spot the difference.
  • Swimming pool for swimming: dull. With a ringing pool, the neighbours will always know if the owner of the house is at home. Against burglars, fill with acid. If you’re afraid of werewolves, use holy water or priest urine.
  • Capsize a rowboat (or a robot) if you want to give the impression there’s something happening in your house.
  • Screw in some partridge horns to decorate the springboard – but only if you want to school your dogs at home. For snowboarding, do the opposite. An intelligent dog will spot the difference.
  • To empty the pool, just bail. Even if the pool is large, there’s no hurry: it will not sink (unless your whole operation is a ship. We will probably deal with this possibility later.)
  • A dead body will add welcome excitement to your pool. In fact, you can choose between a ringing pool with extras and an ordinary pool with a dead body. Throw a party with a lot of drugs and alcohol and the rest will take care of itself. Remember to stay away yourself if you want to avoid ending up a major element of the attraction.