As you will be aware, the Quantum Bones website has remained dormant and pliably docile since the beginning of 2020 in accordance with WHO recommendations.
We take the physical (emotional and sexual) wellbeing of our readers overtly serious. Accepting the sacrifice of doing fuck all for nearly two years in the interest of public safety is a price we have been content to pay.
We accept the WHO recommendations specifically targetting satirical, surreal and/or high-end business websites as a potential high transmission tangent of viral partical propellent, due to the increased ejection during hysterical fits of laughter. Thought the risk is still high, recent mandates have detailed safe procedures to allow us to resume our craft.
It is recommended that the following safety measures are adhered to when viewing this website.
- View the website alone within a dark room with no ventilation
- Utilise a single person tent filled with helium (to help with separation of particles)
- Fill all available orifices
- Stifle ALL bursts and/or outbursts of laughter
- If in doubt, don’t
Thank you for your co-operation.