Hello, dear readers! Midsummer has arrived once again and it will be over sooner than you might care to imagine. If this seems ambiguous to you, you have what we in the imagination business call a faulty imagination. Read on to find out exactly how to fix a faulty imagination!
Presbyterian legend has it that there are several ways of redeeming your life if you are a horse. Catholics, on the other hand, attest to pigs being far smarter than horses and this is, of course, a fact of nature – hence impossible to ignore, really, unless you happen to be a believer. As we just saw, this time they aren’t trying. “What the fucking hell does all of this mean?” you ask in exasperation. “Are these fuckers trying to pull a fast one over on me again for shit?” Not for shit, let me assure you. We keep wanting money.
We still haven’t received any fame or money from you, dear reader. But that’s water over the bridge at this point. Our lives don’t run on anything as disinteresting as mere money. We are saints, the lot of us. We sit atop poles – yes, you do understand how that works – and pray the intestine holds up. It is the biggest problem we have at the moment.
Seriously, though – where’s the fucking money?