We do indeed have a new Chief Editor. I’m rather glad of it. It gives me great personal pleasure to see these straight-out-of-Harvard smartarses smear themselves with self-praise and later with the results of eating too much of it themselves, uncooked.
The workforce we have had on QuantumBones has, so far, produced more great, informative, useful articles than all of the Harvardites combined. These “academic” types are just too blind to understand and appreciate the value of our work. Curly Morton aside, nothing on this site has been valueless. Do you not understand Metaphora?
When we go deep down the paths of literary criticism into the chasms of the virtue of these articles, we almost immediately notice the immense depth at which the minds of us editors seem to be working. No stone is left unturned in our search for the best possible sentence about the most crucial events. Do you think we would release such results of genius, completely undiluted, to be read by the general public? You will need to have your head checked if you think that. We always dress the deep truths — we mask them, if you will.
If you can not read between the lines, you are not worthy of us. Our work is sacred to us. Do not even dream of cutting in with your sadistic philosophy of giving the audience what it wants, Chief.
(I see that the graphics department has already been usurped. I promise you — this will not end here.)
P.S. It is your duty to “shed light on the upcoming brighter era”? So the era will not be bright enough without your shed light?