My name is Gordak Schluckenberg. I was recently cast into the rôle of Chief Editor at QuantumBones. My first task? To get rid of the complacent, self-serving editors on the site. Second? Turn the site into what it should have been right from the beginning: a cutting-edge website offering interesting, educational articles about the different sciences, economy, and social and political developments around the globe – in other words, a useful website in the actual meaning of the term.
It can easily be argued that the reader of the site should not need to bother with details on how the site is governed and put together. If you think that, you are obviously 100% correct. You will not need to read this post for using the website. I feel it is my duty, however, to shed a little light on the upcoming brighter era and how it will drastically differ from the – let me put it bluntly – dismal circus that we have seen so far.
First, I would like to point out that I am not – to the least degree – impressed by any of the articles on this site. I know the workforce I have chosen will understand their duty and actually perform the task they were chosen to perform. This will be a revolution. No more news about Curly Morton, or “articles” where some drug-crazed housewife rambles about her unlikely afternoon. Instead, we will have cutting-edge articles about cutting-edge events and technologies, as well as many things that are not so cutting-edge as all that.
I do not wish to blame the directors of the site for choosing the wrong sort of writers in the first place. They did choose me in the end. Everyone is entitled to some errors. I will only be happy to correct their errors for them, and bring about a brighter future, like I already stated.
If you are wondering why the previously written, completely intolerable articles will still be allowed to remain on the site: this is not for the reader to know. We are facing a force majeure in this case. It is not within my power to even contest the appearance of the said articles. I can only do what actually is within my power: suffocate – nay, strangle – the influence of those articles on the perception of our site in the minds of the reader. How? By having my new, cutting-edge workforce perform cutting-edge, 100% correct writing to provide cutting-edge articles for your use.
(Perhaps it needs to be clarified here that do not wish to strangle the reader. You should read the whole sentence!)
I sincerely hope you will remain a subsciber. These previous years have been a heavy burden on the owners of the site, who have lost a major part of their possessions by investing in the site. It is time to get those possessions back.