We are considering the possibility of adding sub-titles to our articles for those with difficulty understanding them. What kind of subtitles should we be using? We would conduct a poll but we’re afraid the task of answering the questions would exceed the capacity of our average reader and there’s no way of getting to know since we got rid of our Hit Counter.
Understanding our target demographic is something we simply don’t have time to bother about. Instead we are considering implementing sweeping changes based on juvenile whims. We could feel that these amendments would have a positive outcome but prefer to err on the side of caution and general assumptions.
So now we are again at a crossroads: our Chief Editor (that is I) wants to step down and let someone else be Chief, while the rest of us (them as far as I’m concerned) still want him to take the responsibility. There’s a special place in Hell for all those who believe this discussion should end here.
At least one member of the writing team is attempting to develop a drinking problem, whilst there is a clear consensus that might not be a good thing. The rest of the team have their own issues and coping mechanisms. Onwards, forever onwards.
So, as you see, all of the above contributes to the fact – or several facts – that we have been pondering lately.
Our aim is to please our readers in ways that make us feel good, too. Subtitles are not some esoteric tools designed the make people feel lousy about themselves! On the contrary, they are a trap for those who always feel the Earth is shrinking away from them when they jump up.
Whatever the outcome of this, the true depth of anti-intellectualism and borderline retardation of our readers has been clearly demonstrated. Many of you are too dumb to even understand the previous sentence.
Semantics aside, though: a mind is just a mind. We have nothing better to offer you besides our minds – but what minds! That said, assumptions are frequently wrong in many regards.
Choices are made. Never second guess. Unless you have to.
I mean: none of us is a genius, obviously.
But back to the subtitles: back to the assumptions. One will not stay alive without the other.
(Note to the reader: the article will be severely edited at a later date. All references to the incident where I attempted to have sex with my own sister will be deleted.)