Insecurity must be one of the least desirable character traits – on par with lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride, and a few others – such as suicidal and homicidal tendencies. If we could only get rid of insecurity, however, those other negative traits would diminish in proportion, at least in our own eyes. That’s what I’m hoping. Read this short guide and never be insecure again!
Not all of us are insecure. I personally know a man who, if someone acts improperly in traffic – flips him the bird and so forth – starts tailing the offender. Then, depending on the size of the insult, he either slaps the offender or ties his necktie to the outside mirror and rolls the window so high that the offender is in danger of getting choked if nobody comes to the rescue. If the offender is a woman, he will generally try to rape her unless she is really fat or ugly (or if she kicks him in the balls, which also happened once). He has no clear rule for what to do with an underage kid. The situation hasn’t come up once in all the thirty years of his patroling. Amazing, really!
I know what you are thinking about me now. “This guy is trailing. His writing just fucking sucks. He’s lost: this has nothing to do with what the title of the article promises. He just told a story he thinks is funny and actually isn’t. Fuck him. I hate him.” Well, you are wrong. The point of the story is this: not all of us are insecure.
Many politicians appear not to be insecure. Appear not. I’m willing to bet that politicians have the same amount of insecurity with the rest of us. Did you think that only because you vote for someone they will magically get rid of their insecurities? What a dolt you are! Of course it doesn’t happen that way! They remain just as insecure as ever, and have constant nightmares about speaking in public (naked) or going to the women’s lavatory – which the Americans call restrooms for their own unfathomable reasons – with a huge boner.
When you get an erection in public – even with your clothes on – why don’t you just go to a women’s restroom and masturbate? That’s because you are insecure.
I’m willing to admit that this article does not contain ten ways of getting rid of insecurity – if you send us a detailed analysis of why it doesn’t. We are always counting on our readers’ ability to read between the lines. This is why our articles don’t need to be dumbed down the way other websites’ articles often are. I think we can end the discussion here and wish you a good time being more secure than ever!